For Fellow Star Wars Fans

When the Star Wars action figures meet up with the old school Fischer price doll house toys and my three year old girl.

Reminder and reality

Then I got to remember that my husband is awesome and therefore I am now okay. Pulling me up out of my weepy self and totally normalizing the situation he helped me recover fully. Because although one part of my brain knew a ticket wasn't a big deal some other part of my brain started firing off bad signals not necessarily even related to the situation at hand and then sometimes I get stuck in a negative feedback loop.It's like a trigger. It's good to have a helping hand. We will pay the fine and move on. And still enjoy our dresses.

Reminders or What the officer doesn't know

I must remind myself that when that officer gave me a $75 citation for accidentally speeding that he didn't know that I had just kept my girls out late and spent 3 hours comparison shopping to save $40 on baptismal dresses. I have to remind myself that that officer doesn't know he will trigger in me an episode of unpredictable proportions which will result in hours of crying and then possibly days of fighting off the very bad thing.

I have to remind myself that it is me and not the officer who is responsible for the 2 insane screaming outbursts at my children when we arrive home. I have to remind myself that I kept my children out late right up to the edge of reason. I have to remind myself that the officer didn't know I was getting them home just before meltdown set in. He didn't know my three year old was going to completely break down in 3,2,1....

I have to remind myself that I was speeding even if I didn't realize it. I have to remind myself that I am responsible for my reactions even when they spiral out of control and off the wall from chemicals in my brain and gut which form a tornado of emotion which makes it hard for me to choose a different response....but choose I must...or I'm just stuck here lookin' at my yellow paper with no plan to get up.

See the sunshine in her soul

Magpie has a love of all things bright, shiny and new. She loves new stories, new things, new people, new places. There is however one thing, or rather one person quite old that she loves...

Great Grammy

Indeed Magpie seems to have a special place in her heart for older (*ehem*old) people. She knows there is something special about anyone resembling a grandma or a grandpa and something even more extraordinary about a GREAT grandma or grandpa. This may be a trait in many children...my nephew thinks the closer you are to 100 the better because that is an awesomely big number. It surprises me at times though because Magpie is so on the move and constantly demanding so much energetic attention. With true delight she crawls up into our friends' grandparents laps, takes elderly people at church by the hand and invites them to our home. So, when she got to spend time with her very own Great Grandmother imagine her delight. My grandmother was likewise delighted to be the apple of someone's eye at age 87.

She's a rainbow...

and she loves the peaceful life

Our newly turned three year old was loved on thoroughly last week at my mom's by our extended family. About every five minutes one of her older cousins would look at her and say, "She is so cute!" My sentiments exactly. She thoroughly enjoyed every moment of our family togetherness.Her heart was clearly full to bursting with love for our family, but she also needed many reassuring cuddles and snuggles from me. She would whisper to me, "I want to go home 'cause there's too many peoples here." Or, "I miss my home. I don't want to live here forever."

Sometimes raising my little Clementine is feels like getting a chance to parent myself. She generally shy, but is a total goof ball when she is relaxed and comfortable. She is a sensitive sweetheart that loves everyone, she digs her feet in when she doesn't get her way and she almost totally shuts down when she's overwhelmed. Her heart is big and when she is happy she is very very happy and when she is sad she is very very sad, when she is angry she is very very angry. She feels everything strongly, deeply--like me.

There is no place I would have rather been then with my mom and sisters last week, but I too had moment of feeling like there were too many peoples there. All people that I love though and as an adult I now know how to manage my need for quiet, introverted moments or even put those moments on hold temporarily for other kinds of nourishment. Clementine is just still very little and does not yet know how to balance those things. Getting her to take a quiet rests or a naps was nearly impossible that week, but she needed them and they clearly brought her relief.

I am so totally different from Magpie and my hubby that it is nice to have a familiar face around here. I definitely have insight into Clementine's inner workings, but will that make it easier to parent her? Or harder? I don't want to assume or put things are her that are really my issues, but I do want to use the insight I've gained about myself to help her navigate and move past the places she gets stuck. I often feel like I am just learning how to get around here myself so how will I help her find her way?

I intentionally remind myself that regardless of our similarities she is different and her life is different too and I must also step back just enough to let her flourish...especially during this year of 3 which is like adolescence only smaller and possibly more neurotic.

I am thankful for my husband who seems to bring out just the right mix of brave, goofy and a touch of suck it up in all of us. I am thankful that Clementine will not endure the stares of strangers and hushed whispers of other children like I did at her age. My hope is that my shy girl will discover more safe places & people in the world to be herself and to grow into herself then I did when I was that little. I think being surrounded by too many peoples that all love her is a good place to start.

Nicknames

I am finally updating or changing my girls nicknames on the blog. They have been outgrowing their baby nicknames Peanut and Sweetpea---names we affectionately still call them, but Peanut has a new nickname around here and it suits her so well I'll be using it on the blog now too. I'll refer to her as Magpie from now on.

And my Sweetpea, although this still captures her, it doesn't do justice to her other nickname and true middle name which I'll be using...Clementine.

700 miles and back again

Lessons from Chicago to Rochester

The way there is always easier.
A big girl booster means I have helper--well, half a helper.
My kids can really "hold it."
Wiper blades can be found at the gas station, but not necessarily the right size.
Ohio is a wasteland for rest areas, except for exit 100. It's like some kind of rest area Taj Mahal.
Cleveland wakes my children up.
Spending $10 on toys or coloring stuff that is new is worth it for the car ride.
There is going to be snow when you drive in December and January.
My husband and I always miss our exit if we talk.
M&Ms trailmix in the dark is like a treat, a snack and a game.
Sometimes the under 3 toy in a kids meal is cooler.
And as my 10 year old nephew says, "that last half hour is really hard."

Year End Self Evaluation

Name: Heather
Department:Intedomine Household
Title: Co-Supervisor (Mother)
Date:12/1/09


1.What do you consider to be the top three to five priorities of your job as you understand them?

Feed & clothe all department members. Mentor and give selflessly to the younger department members. Keep the walkways clear. Stock the department with salty snacks and cookies.

2.What do you see as your greatest accomplishments or successful efforts over this past year?

I moved our department from being one dependent on diapers to being a diaper free environment. This saved us an average of $60 per month and several extra loads of laundry per week. I instituted a new form of discipline and "credit system" which has resulted in greater unity of purpose in the department and quicker conflict resolution. Whining has been reduced by 6%.

3.What factors, environmental or otherwise, impacted your job or your ability to perform your job during the last year?

My Co-Supervisor has been occupied with career development training which has left me to shoulder the burden of responsibility within the department. The work load is really meant to be carried by more then one individual. There have been times that I forgot to restock the cashews and clear the walkways. Also, perpetually mentoring and training younger department members alone became more taxing as the year wore on since I was not given opportunity for study leave or much PTO.

4.Complete the following sentence. I believe that my greatest contribution to the department is: the way I continually show up, day after day. Even when younger department members walk out on meetings I perservere. My committment to this department and company remains strong.

5.In what area or areas would you like to gain more experience, training or education?

I sometimes think the younger staff in my department do not respect my authority as they should. I desire to recieve training in leadership, influence and motivation.

6.What activities, classes or trainings have you participated in over the last review period in order to develop yourself professionally?

I have researched many mommy blogs and done some interesting reading into ADHD, discipline and creative parenting. As I said I was not given much PTO or study leave this year.

7.What could you do to perform your job duties and assigned tasks more efficiently?

Organization is always a weekness of mine. For a while I kept up with meal plans and small activity plans and structured cleaning times. Then as the year went on I lost that focus. I could benefit from an assistant or at least a company provided PDA. This would really enhance my ability to supervise operations more efficiently. Meanwhile, I need to refocus on planning ahead and getting to bed earlier.

8.What can your supervisor or co-workers do to assist you in becoming more efficient?

My team members could take more responsibility for organization, keeping walkways clear and other daily tasks like playing with toys. It is most frustrating when they ask me to play with their toys for them. My co-supervisor, while having little time to devote to internal operations could run important discipline meetings and pick up the salty snacks more often.This would free me to focus on other tasks.

Also, my co-workers and co-supervisor all too often speak out of turn or at the same time in meetings or leave their work stations perpetually interupting work I may be trying to complete. Fewer interruptions would increase my efficiency.

9.Please complete the following. I believe my goals and objectives for the coming year should be:

to move away from wiping butts and noses by the end of next calendar year. I realize there may be times when this duty continues to be necessary to the job, but my goal is that the young department members will take on more of these responsibilities themselves.

10.What other comments or suggestions would you like to offer?

My C0-Supervisor offers good moral support to me, but perhaps while he is on his study leave the company could bring in an intern to alleviate the heavy workload. There are time when I simply can not get it all done. This is proving to be very taxing on all members of the team which is not good for the company as a whole.

Wanna Play? TAG! Your it! Leave me a link so I can read yours too! One rule though--don't take this or yourself too seriously. :) Have fun...